mayela_delarue

The 40 degree heat
The thousand people who wanted free BBQ
This mishaps and craziness
Would do a lot of things differently.

That is all.
(oh except for the 3 events in the next 3 weeks of course)

MissC posted this to her facebook page today and I just had to read it... and agree with the majority of it from my own experiences.

What Not to say while online dating

It has been a very rockey time of late and I am seriously doubting my abilities right now. I'm not looking for sympathy or reassurance. Just recording that I have serious doubts in myself right now.

I have never been so stressed or worried about an event. Usually I get to this stage and worry I've forgotten something because I don't seem to have anything to do (a sure sign that I'm organised).

Not so in this case.

I see myself working till 7pm today, 6pm tomorrow and possibly coming in on Saturday. And I'm still not convinced I will be totally satisfied that everything is ship shape... or event shape.

If anything, please cross your fingers and send out all the good karma vibes that you can.

Anyone who watches my facebook (I have stalkers?! <3 ) will have noticed a recurring theme in my statii (which I have decided is the new plural for status).

I am very busy and stressed at work lately. Last night I had a big post written in my mind of all the good things which I wanted to put here so you all knew I'm still actually alive, safe and well, but despite being up late, failed miserably to put all those happy thoughts in to a post.

So today, after arriving at work at 8am and arriving home at nearly 8pm and feeling utterly devoid of enthusiasm, I thought I had better write as much of the bloody thing as I can think of to try and buoy my spirits to get me through the next (sure to be grueling) couple of days.

Let's go with a list eh?
Swing Dance - I really do love it, went last night and had a great big stupid grin on my face the whole time despite not being 100% on top of the intermediate class stuff
Burlesque - yeah I love it, you know I do, and there's still things to go to over Summer while Ruby Revue has a break (and I can hopefully save a little)
The Snowdroppers - OK, these guys are a recent discovery and absolute love. I went to two of their gigs and they are a fantastic band! But I will write more on that another time. Their music, while totally dark and dirty blues, makes me feel a world of better. Their album has been on repeat a lot.
Just paid off the last of the USA debt. Now to pay off a few other purchases made since then, including photos and summer music festival tickets.

Umm there was more, I'll have to keep adding as I remember.
Should sleep, I was ready to crash an hour ago.

Oh yeah, I have cool friends... but you all know that.
Oh, and over the last couple of weeks of Weight Watchers I've lost over 2kgs... maybe even close to 3kg.

You will all have noticed quite a drop in posts about dating. I hardly even find the time to check the online dating site I use anymore.

And I've not had many dates from it, I've had whingers complain I'm too busy for them to meet me but whenever I give them an option to meet, they're working or busy. So I'm kind of over Online Dating - takes up more time than I have.

But that's not to say I'm over dating, I just need to refresh my options. So with the lack of actually meeting these invisible dates, I think I need to head to things where I meet people in the flesh... no time wasted with online chat that might lead to meeting for coffee.

So I've signed up to a couple of speed dating sites. And I've booked in to go to a Sydney Speed Date in December at the Camperdown Hotel which is a venue I know and quite like (and is a very me venue as opposed to some of the swanky CBD venues speed date has on offer).

I've also recently registered to a some other group date style sites and will see what they have to offer. Namely:
Trivia Dating
A Rendezvous which does group dinners and holidays!
The Big Blind which focuses on activities like Trapeze workshops

I think I signed up to a few others but can't even remember them. If they email me and I'm available and can afford it, I'll book to go and try it out pretty much. Might as well have fun instead of sitting at home online right?

I was just looking for Spice Me, a dance/ cooking/ language course based option but it seems to have died, but while looking for it I found the Australian Dating Guide which looks like an online portal to various dating options, I might look at it over the festive season when my brain is back and see if there's anything else I could add to my retinue.

The one really frustrating thing about all this style of dating is the cost! Dating is bad for the hip pocket, but here's hoping it's good for the soul.

when you meet multiple very attractive, charming men through work but it's completely inappropriate to ask them if they're single and perhaps you should have coffee/ drinks/ babies with them?

*sigh*

No not work colleagues, charming men who work for external companies I deal with and use for my events. They're usually trying to sell me something anyway.

Well this week has seen me be a real girly girl.

On Wednesday I skived off work early to go and have my hair cut, nothing special or new, just a nice trim (and head massage). I last had my hair cut before my trip overseas so it was getting a bit crazy.

Let's ignore Thursday, nothing girly about that except the pouting.

Friday I had booked a manicure and pedicure down at the plaza during my lunch break. Quite a nice way to spend the last lunch time of your week! But oh the choice of colours to put on your nails! I ended up going for a bright red on my toes and a pale pink on my fingers.

All of this was in readiness for Saturday morning. The last Ruby Revue I went to I was lucky enough to win an $800 gift voucher to Studio 504 which entitles you to free hair, make-up and photography session plus an A3 poster of one of the photos.

Then they sell you the rest of the photos for a motza. But I went prepared, I knew roughly what potential costs there would be.

I wanted to go for a real vintage style, victory rolls, some of my fave dresses and so on. I get the feeling (and after discussing with JD it seems confirmed) that the hair and make up girl doesn't actually know what victory rolls are. So she did an up style which was vintage-esq, but not actually what I was after. The make up was, as ant_queen put it, applied with a trowel. The shoot was relatively fun. I insisted we do some fun shots in various dresses too.

I wanted to be strong willed and possibly only get a couple of prints rather than one of the exorbitantly priced packages. But the resulting photos were really very good. So I chose to go for the basic package only and managed to pick, of the hundred or so photos, 11 to be printed and also provided in digital format.

Of course my Dad called right in the middle of the viewing of the photos and I therefore let it slip what he will be receiving for Xmas (an Mum, you'll be getting some too). Which means, since they both either read my LJ or are on my facebook, I won't be putting the photos up until after they have received them (or maybe I'll put them in a locked post...)

And of course, I planned it so I had my shoot the same day as having 2 Halloween parties to go to. My fringe was bugging the hell out of me so I did have to stage an intervention before I could calmly step outside again. I went to see a friends Burlesque graduation performance at Marrickville Bowling Club which was a fun night. I wore my new floral swing dress and of course had the lovely hair and new improved fringe. It was great to see a bunch of girls performing what they had just learned and having fun while doing it. My favourite was still Miss Jo's Spaghetti routine... hehehe.

After the show was over I then headed to Miss S's Halloween party where fancy dress was essential. And while I was obviously dressed up in Vintage, that wasn't enough for me. If it's Halloween, there has to be an evil side to the costume... I borrowed a cute apron from JD and procured a bloodstained rolling pin, and went as 'Recently Widowed'. Through the night my recently deceased husband's life insurance payment came through, so I was seen with hundred dollar bills down my dress ;)

( click for pics )

So all in all, a fun night, preceded by a couple of days of girliness.

And today, couch, PJs and Guitar Hero apparently!

So, having had a run of bad days, I (finally) rode my bike home from work and felt it only appropriate to put, what I affectionately named, my 'Emo' playlist on my iPod for the extra aggression burn. I growled at my shitty gears too.

I also had hockey tonight and it was a really fast game, lots of running. We either won or drew, I don't remember, I don't care.

For the next few weeks I think my mantra will have to be 'Suck it up Sunshine'.

All I can say right now is that Glee solves everything.

I keep thinking about, and meaning to write, but I've been busy so rarely get time to put stuff here. In fact, I meant to write at least a week ago.

And then I got distracted so let me see if I can summarise in dot points and thus get my point of my post across succinctly rather than the usual waffle

1. I rode to work last Monday and Wednesday, though failed to ride home Wednesday due to social plans.
2. I still haven't had my bike fixed, though I think about it often, it really is a necessity for the whole development of riding home as a habit.
3. I need to actually PLAN to ride to work, not just think about it and wake up in the morning to discover I need to get everything together in order to ride to work.
4. I joined weight watchers @ work last week and am working with their points system.
5. Weight watchers requires a whole lot more planning than I have thinking space for... bugger
6. In my first week I did loose 0.6kg which is good, they say to expect to loose 0.5kg/ week up to 1kg/ week. So I just need patience now, and to stick to the plan.
7. I think a lot, I need to put more of my thinking in to either planning or action.
8. I have a lot of plans in the pipeline, I think I need to get more of them in to action.
9. I think I'll ride my bike home from work tomorrow in order to hopefully get it serviced, goodness knows where.
10. I think I'll go to bed now, though I thought that at least 15 mins ago and always plan to go to bed at a reasonable hour...

Thus the quandary of thought vs plan.

Many of you out there who know me, know I'm a fairly outgoing kinda gal. And many of my guy friends will know I'm a flirt, actually my gal friends will know that too. I'll happily flirt with many of my good friends.

But, even for an outgoing, confident lass like me, flirting with complete strangers is a whole other world, for which there seems to be no rules.

Now I'll happily flirt with someone who has been introduced to me, especially if they're rather a dish. And I'll happily flirt with someone I've met online dating, they are of course deemed worthy of flirting with once I've met them. This is all fine because I have an introduction/ some kind of shared history, a starting point if you will.

But How On Earth do you attract the attention of a complete stranger?
( Cut for Length )

As a first foray in to flirting, sober, with complete strangers, it's not bad... but I will endeavour to try it out again and slowly perhaps build the confidence (or at least the how too) to be able to outrageously* approach any attractive guy I see.

*cannot guarantee the outrageousness.

EDIT: Oh, I just remember the other prompt for these thoughts, in my 'Insert Post Here' all stories pretty much lead to some hansome stranger (foreign too) let's say 'falling madly in love' with me... ah fantasy worlds...

I've been meaning to write a bunch of posts about day to day life here... and I will. But today's a rather dull day and I just had the crazy idea to ask you, oh LJers and FBers, to brighten up my day by using the comments to write my post for me, what you think I might have been up to, real or imaginary.

Go Nuts! Write your own 'Day inthe Life of KT' or just add to each others... Oh god, what have I let myself in for?

*headdesk*
*headdesk*
*headdesk*

Can it be home time nao?

That is all.

I've introduced you all to my friend acoopers4me before, and today he blogged about the other side of Ride to Work Day which certainly got me thinking. I'd be interested to hear anyone else's thoughts to his observations, I think he's right, and I had a bit of a ramble myself about it in the comments.

I guess it's the problem with 'all good things', a blind eye gets turned to misuse and abuse because "it's good for the environment/ your health/ the community/ insert other banal reason here".

Beautiful and Sunny!
Today is Ride 2 Work Day. As peviously mentioned, I walked home the last 2 Wednesday's along the route I planned to ride. Today I rode to work for the first time, and went a slightly different way as discussed and suggested by a coworker who rides to work frequently.

I tried to draw y'all a map on Google Maps, but that failed because I used bike paths that aren't roads and confuse the map.

It was quite a lovely ride really, I tried to keep a calm pace rather than thundering along, I just need to get to work, not win the race!

But there were 3 hills on the same road that nearly defeated me. The first was quite steep but short, and comes from almost a stop start as it meets a roundabout. So I crept very slowly up that hill with the gears doing their thing.

By the time I got to the other end of that road, it had a gentle climb towards Norton St. Isn't it pathetic that that gentle rise got me. My legs were jelly and I decided I needed to get off the bike, mainly so I had control of the bike on Leichhardt's busiest street. As I crossed the road I met another cyclist and we had a chat as I admitted defeat and thought about how to go the rest of the (admittedly short) way to work.

After our brief chat, my legs had firmed up, and having a new belief in gears (and that I should certainly have mine seen to) I got back on the bike and rode the remainder of the way, up yet another incline along the rest of Allen St, along the back of the school, and then I cheated and rode up the footpath to the one way (wrong way of course) street to our Admin building.

Then I realised I didn't know the combination to my lock. Bugger. So I've stored my bike in my office building under the stairs, no one will see it so it's fine. Must work out the combination!

I popped over to the main Admin building for my shower, there are a number of people who obviously use the shower, but I only discovered it's exact location earlier this week (thankfully). I really was stinky, bright red and exhausted!

It was funny, half way to work (on the nice flat, easy to ride bit) I thought it was fabulous and remarkable how awake and alert I was and that maybe riding to work was my solution to not being awake at work till at least 10am. During the second half, with the hills... my thought pattern changed a lot! LOL.

I will try to factor in a ride to and from work at least once a week, and maybe some walks home from work as well. My social life makes it hard to ride to and from work in one day, I tend to go out after work (like last night where I went out to Dr Sketchy's and got home at 12.30am). In fact I'm going out to Avenue Q tonight, 8pm in the city, but I will ride home first and then head back to the city (and be greatful to sit down for a few hours I bet) otherwise my bike wouldn't come home until next week as I'm booked up the rest of the week and am away in Canberra this weekend.

The ride took about 30 mins (half the time of the walk) but then you have to factor in things like putting my bike away, having a shower and getting back to my desk, which makes it more like 40 - 50 mins. So not economical time wise, but better for my health. And I'm sure I will get faster with time, fitness and adjustment of gears.

And apparently today, for riding to work, I get a $5 breakfast voucher to use in the next week at one of the cafes along Norton St, mmm... food.

Well, I decided to try out this new-fangled Yes I am Single website thingy. I signed up last week or so ago and am waiting with baited breath to receive my YIS badge.

Tonight was going to be the Sydney Chapter's YIS drinks at the Marble Bar in the basement of the Hilton Sydney. I emailed the organiser saying perhaps he could give me my badge at the drinks night. I received back an email saying he'd had a few cancellations over the weekend and had thus postponned the drinks. He didn't want to run it if less than 10 people were going to show up.

Hmm... there aren't 10 single people in Sydney who want to have a drink.

No, that's not true. There aren't 10 single people who are members of YIS in Sydney who want to go for a drink. Kind of says something doesn't it?

I've spent the last week visiting the site in anticipation of some original interaction. The site is quite basic and a bit clunky. It's just a forum that you can sign in to when you're a member. I posted in the Aus and NSW forums which both had some comments already. Sadly, no one has responded since my post last week. There is also a section for suggestions from members on how to improve the site, I've made 3 comments about ways to improve, with no response.

But I have no background on the people who are running the site, except speculation that they are Scientolgists (and won't that be a bag of fun for me to explore!). The chap who emails me about the event and badges and membership seems lovely and well meaning, I just wonder whether they're in over their head. I have suggested they look at (or ideally adopt) the Ning site style, I'm a member of a number of Ning sites/ forums etc and find they are very useful for the kind of community YIS is trying to establish.

I am not giving up hope, if anything, I might adopt it as a project - it can see it needs fixing, so of course I want to fix it!

And you just wait till I have my 'Yes! I am Single!' badge to wear, should be some amusing tales if nothing else ;)

But for today, it's YIS Fail.

Today was 'Walk Home Wednesday', it's a simple concept really, walk home from work instead of catching the bus. This morning, being the second week in a row that I walked home on Wednesday, nearly didn't come about, laziness in the morning nearly won me over. But I told myself to take the extra couple of minutes to pack a bag ready to walk home. Sure it meant I missed my bus, but another one wasn't far behind (it's an advantage being on a frequent bus line) and really, if work hasn't figured out that I'm not a morning person and I'll always be in before 9.30am, then they never will.

So that, storm, with the hail predicted today? More of a driving sleet really. But I still walked through it. I walked the way I plan to ride to work eventually, and the walk took me 1 hour almost exactly. Usually, the direct way I walk takes 40 - 45mins, but the route I walked today is an easier ride and less busy traffic wise, and mainly off-road.

I feel really stupid tonight, for weeks I've been trying to find a Crumpler pouch that goes with my Crumpler courier backpack (which conveniently holds a change of clothes and my handbag for the walk home) and tonight, while emptying my bag of today's work clothes, I found in the front pocket where I had obviously safely stowed it some time ago. Now I just have to find or remember the combination to my bike lock and I'm all set for things I've misplaced.

Speaking of bikes, next Wednesday is Ride 2 Work Day and I do plan to ride to work that day. Hopefully that will all go well, and I can ride to work a little ore frequently. So Walk Home Wednesday might be a short lived habit. I'm trying to organise a Bay Run ride on Saturday if anyone is keen for a bike ride.

I also went to Swing last night instead of Thursday, it's kind of handy being able to chop and change between week nights and go to the classes that suit me and my crazy social schedule. I walked to swing class last night as well, from Leichhardt to Camperdown, about a 30 min walk. Not to mention the workout you get with a one hour dance class, it always surprises me.

So now the other things I need to work in to my schedule are:
Visit local Physiotherapist for evaluation and treatment - knees
Get recommendation from Physio for gym membership
Start going to Pilates (conveniently run as small private classes at the same Physio)
Join a gym - either Five Dock or Leichhardt through work
Sort out my diet.

Oh and look, I am currently indulging in one of my worst habits, staying up late. But let's just blame that one on Daylight Savings eh?

I get it, Public Transport, not so much with the personal space. But usually you at least get SOME.

This morning I caught the bus to work as usual, and sat in my usual spot (first seat after the back door) and I was hoping to keep the seat to myself as sometimes happens. But within a couple of stops an old man sat down on the seat next to me.

Within minutes I noticed the smell. This fellow smelt bad, either he was farting a lot, or he had some poor toileting hygeine. *shudder*

After the initial offence of the smell, I then noticed the leg, pressed against mine. Now, I couldn't get any closer to the window than I already was. I had my backpack with me which was at my feet, he wasn't a particularly large man either, but he didn't follow the rules of at least attempting to maintain some seperation and personal space. *shudder*

It was only after I had spent some time considering these two issues that I realised, when he got on the bus, I doubt all the seats were taken, he probably could have chosen a seat to himself, or he could have chosen a seat on the main floor, not up a couple of steps. But instead he chose to sit next to sweet, innocent, little me. Eeeewww *shudder*

And then I finally get to my stop (which in reality is only 15 mins from my home) and I press the button for the stop. The old man slowly, fragiley gets up, trying not to shake or stumble, to let me out for my stop. And I can't help but feel sorry for the old man and forgive him his offences.

Maybe it's his habit to sit in that seat too and I'm just projecting. *shrug*

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Remember how I said I put things off a lot? Yeah, I remembered that too.
I've had an interest in dancing for a long time, all kinds of dance. I did my debutante ball in year 12 (one day I'll even scan some pics for you all, I was so cute!), learned rock n roll dancing in my late teens, have gone to many of Sooz's samba classes, done a couple of belly dance classes and goodness knows what else.

I've wanted to learn lindy hop, swing or ceroc for a long time and always held off for a variety of excuses (not having a partner to dance with or my partner at the time not wanting to learn any dance and so on). At the Gangster's Ball there were performances by two of Sydney's swing dance schools Swingtime Australia and Swing Patrol. Now, not wanting to play favourites, Swingtime's performance was superior to Swing Patrol I'd known about Swing Patrol from fab Frani who used to go to their events when she was in Aus. Why I didn't go with her some time is beyond me (I was probably too busy being distracted by people who turned out to be a waste of space). I also discovered at the Gangster's Ball that Ellen is a keen swing dancer with Swingtime and she highly recommended their classes to me

Last week Swingtime started a 6 week beginners course on Tuesday's and Thursday's. I missed last week's classes and this week's Tuesday.

But instead of letting that defeat me and me effectively skip a 6 week course, tonight, I walked the half an hour from Leichhardt to Camperdown to go to the class. (Look at me also walking! 2 birds, one stone and all)

So tonight we went over last week's lessons on the 'basic' which is forward, 2, 3, back, 2, 3, rock step. We added the lead out (was that what it's called) and by the end of the class we also added the Charleston. It was quite a nice class, well paced and the teachers break it down really well. It was quite a big class, and we were all set to switch partners so that you get a good dance and practice with all kinds of different people, thus making you a better dancer.

Now I went alone, didn't take a partner, though I did try to find some brave (male) soul to take along. So the whole swap partner thing is god for letting ME get a dance partner! So out of a class of 7 partners and about 3 single girls, that should be a good amount of time dancing right? Well, it turns out that 5 of the 7 couples only wanted to dance with their partner (they seemed to all be friends and all in romantic couples). Which was disappointing and totally not the point. But that's their loss. Party poopers!

We shared the other 2 guys, the male instructor and the nice chap behind the desk between the rest of the gals and only really had one single girl at any one time. Later, one of the higher level girls stepped in so we could all have a partner and still swap for practice. We had a grand old time.

So I'm looking forward to the next 4 weeks of class. I might even go to the Deco Dance this Saturday night, so many competing social options!

There was more to this post, but but Family Guy has bludgeoned it out of me.

Night all
Forward, 2, 3, back, 2, 3, rock step...

Today I walked home from work. It's about a 40 min walk, but I went a longer way so I could check out the best way for me to ride to work. acoopers4me posted yesterday about his exercise regime of a lunch time (and his sheer hatred of running, which I in fact share) and that really prompted me to get my arse in gear and get some regular exercise back in to my life.

So I walked home, and I will start riding to work occasionally and walking home more often. But in reality it'll be after this week (of dooooooooom!). But as I was walking home, I thought a lot about habits, and forming habits, breaking them and so on.

It takes something like 3 weeks to break a habit but 6 weeks to form a new one. What stupid greater power thought that would be a good idea?!?!

I think Laziness is one of my biggest habits I need to break. Funnily enough, weekends are fine. I jam pack my weekends with lots of fun things which make me love my life. I also tend to fill my weeknights with other great social things. But, when it comes to the important things, health, exercise, eating healthy, washing my clothes and doing the chores, I am super lazy and can find all sorts or distractions and excuses.

While responding to acoopers4me's post, I said I will eventually get around to riding to work and exercising more. Mid sentence I realised what I was doing, making room for the excuse (currently stress at work). So instead I committed to walking home and made sure it happened. But that's just one instance in what will take at least 6 weeks to develop in to a regular, don't need to think about it, habit.

On my 40 min walk, I thought a lot more about broader habits. Not just physical habits that affect your health and well being. It's been an interesting couple of weeks. I hear a lot from a lot of people. I also read people's blogs and posts on facebook. I know a lot of single people - perhaps I just notice them more lately, but it makes me think about the habits we form in relationships.

I've been talking to a few guys from online dating sites as well, and particularly one tonight who has been separated from his wife for the last 3 months. They were together 9 years and married for 3 of those. Sounds like an amicable break up really. It truly sounds like they had both moved on from the relationship before it even ended. And I began to think to myself that they had stayed together out of habit rather than love and desire for a life together.

It's so easy to do, take your loved one for granted, forget to tell them you love them, forget to make the extra effort. But perhaps these things are the things that should have been made habit early in relationships. I don't want to say bad habits can't be broken, because they can. I just think there's a different dynamic to habits which are based in shared emotion.

Changing a habit about yourself, for yourself is much easier.

For example, some of you may remember that I undertook considerable effort to lose 30kg a couple of years ago. It was actually really easy. I chose to utilise Lite n Easy for my food. I started going to Pilates one a week, conveniently supplied at work. I started walking and extra 15 mins per day, making a total of 45 mins walking to and from public transport every day.

Excuse: unfortunately those good habits fell out of place when my life shifted me repeatedly and I have not rebuilt the habits in to my life. So, now I need to buck up, and break the bad lazy habit, and build exercise in to my life again.

But emotional habits might be harder to change. I'm an emotional eater, I'm not actually sure how to break that behaviour, I'll let you know if I figure it out.

I'm not in a relationship at the moment, so I guess I can only surmise, prepare and think about the healthy relationship habits I want in my life. I can't help but think I have already started adding healthy relationship habits to my life through nurturing friendships and connections both new and old. But I must also remember to take note of the things my friends do for me, or the things I see them do in their own relationships.

I think habits and observations go hand in hand. But I don't know that we ever engage both at once.

I do wish that in the past I had had the opportunity to observe and alter my own habits, and perhaps challenge the habits of those around me that weren't healthy for me. But I guess that's the point, you learn from experience. I know someone who is currently making the effort to try again on a relationship, alter and break the bad habits and nurture the good habits. I wish I'd had that opportunity, so I'm glad they are making ago of it. Conversely, i also heard a conversation by someone admitting that their marriage was over, but I don't think they'd discussed it with their partner yet, admitting having left the relationship emotionally by emerging themselves in work and distractions, yet not actually having physically left. It can't be an easy process.

But, a part of me wonders whether trying to make a relationship work when it is or has failed, is just because the habit of being in a relationship is more comfortable than stepping out in to the unknown. Hmmm, I must be channeling JD's Devil's Advocate power.

I know in the past I have gone back to relationships or even fallen in to extended liaisons out of that desire for comfort and habit of having someone there. Ultimately they either haven't worked, have been bad for me or just were never going to work. But I guess that's where observation failed me, I failed to look for warning signs, look to see if the situation was right for me, look and see if the opportunity was right for 'us'.

See, habit and observation.

I must tell you a story. I love my Mum, she hated my first boyfriend, Chris. We only dated for a month or two, when I was 18 and he was 25. This was 10 years ago and just before I was heading off to the USA for what eventually became a 5 month stint. We'd been dating a month and he knew I was heading overseas, so a few weeks before I was due to leave, he proposed to me (next to the swimming pool in his parent's trailer park no less! He didn't even get down on one knee). I don't know that I said no, but I certainly didn't accept, despite his protestations that he'll wait for me and that his parents had married young, after knowing each other only a short time. I went overseas and had a great time. He started seeing someone else while I was overseas, and admittedly, after 4 months and his contact having stopped after mere weeks of my leaving, I too had a holiday fling. When I got back to Australia, he had moved interstate but called me in a drunken stupor to protest his love for me and that 'it'll work'. I shut him down for a great litany of reasons. My Mum later revealed to me that she had been planning to send me to live with my Father in Albury (I was currently in Ballina) and work at his dental surgery, just to get me away from Chris in the hopes our relationship would petter out, so I think she was thrilled when I didn't want a thing to do with him. Her comment was that affection is just proximity. Maybe she has a point, proximity and familiarity of a relationship might have been the driving force rather than actual interest and admiration.

So I've kind of veered off on thoughtful tangent here. And I'm sure I'll keep thinking about it. So perhaps, in the vein of my confessions and convictions posts of earlier this year, maybe it's time I examined more of my habits (and of course the habits of the people in the world around me... oh random public, you all make me giggle or grrr alternately). And I might even let you all in on the process... if you're nice.

But I'm glad I'm not a smoker, a) quitting an addictive substance would be f*cking hard and b) what are you supposed to do in the extra 3 weeks between breaking a habit and making a new one?